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‘Tis the season to be jolly but for some people Christmas can be a stressful, or even depressing time of year.
While the festive season is meant to be a joyous time of parties, presents and spending time with loved ones, for those of us with financial difficulties, grief or family troubles, feelings of stress, loneliness and isolation can be exacerbated.
So if you are finding Christmas less merry than it should be, here are some tips to put the fun back into the silly season.
do it your own way
Don’t try and keep up with the Jones’s – plan a Christmas that suits your circumstances, budget and mood. For example, if planning a big feast at home stresses you out or puts pressure on your budget, make it more casual this year by asking everyone to bring a plate. Or better yet, consider going outdoors for a picnic or beach barbeque.
Similarly, don’t put pressure on yourself to follow every tradition. If you don’t want to put-up a Christmas tree, don’t have time to decorate your house, or don’t fancy having certain friends around for Christmas drinks this year, don’t. And if you’re family doesn’t get along very well, it’s perfectly ok to go out to a restaurant to limit the time you have to spend together. It’s your celebration, so feel free to do it your way.
Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly transformed into Martha Stewart. So if your home doesn’t look like it comes out of an interior design magazine, or you burn the turkey, try not to worry about it.
Similarly, don’t expect too much of everyone else. Remember others may be under stress too so try to be as understanding as possible.
If you’re family has been feuding for some time, don’t expect it stop just because it’s Christmas. Instead try to stay calm, limit your alcohol intake and choose both who you talk to and your topics of conversation wisely. Another good idea to ease tension is to plan an activity like a board game or outdoor cricket.
look after yourself
It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed, lonely or depressed at this time of year but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.
Some good coping mechanisms are to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, eat healthily, get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly and take time out to do things you enjoy. Don’t rely on alcohol or drugs to get you through.
If you’re feeling isolated or alone, consider getting more involved in your community. Volunteering can be a great way to help you feel more connected, while embracing the spirit of good will.
But if you’re finding it hard to cope with day-to-day things, seek professional help. You can find details of a counsellor in your local area in the beyondblue Directory of Medical and Allied Health Practitioners or your local doctor should also be able to suggest someone.
take care of loved ones
Be aware that Christmas can be a difficult time for some people and not everyone may be feeling quite as merry as you are. For example, they may feel overextended, miss love ones that have passed away, or be stressed out by rising debt. Those with family difficulties or who have just gone through a relationship break-may feel incredibly lonely and isolated.
Be sensitive to the people you care about and if someone isn’t coping, encourage them to seek help.
If you or someone you love needs some emotional support, Lifeline has counsellors available 24 hours a day, and the call does not show up on your phone bill. Call 13 11 14.
[tweetmeme only_single=false http://www.URL.com]We all know happiness comes at a price right? Well, according to Arun Abey and Andrew Ford, not necessarily.
In their book, How Much Is Enough, Abey and Ford propose the idea of hedonic arbitrage – basically the notion of increasing your happiness without increasing your spending or wealth. This is an idea the authors have been exploring in conjunction with behavioural finance authority Shlomo Benartzi.
The basic underlining principle is that we are best off spending our limited resources on the things that are going to make the biggest contribution to our happiness. Sounds pretty simple doesn’t it?
The only problem is, when it comes to knowing what is going to make us truly happy – not just fleetingly, but over the long term – us humans tend to come up short.
This point is well illustrated by the fact that although our wealth has risen exponentially over the past 50 years, happiness levels have barely changed. Obviously, we aren’t using our increasing wealth to improve our happiness.
The good news is there are things we can do to get in touch with what makes us happier, and spend less money while we’re at it.
In the pursuit of happiness, leading positive psychologist Martin Seligman emphasises the difference between pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures come from external stimuli bringing immediate delight to the senses and tend to be momentary – for example, enjoying a glass of wine, listening to your favourite song or taking a warm bath on a cold day. Gratifications on the other hand involve us getting lost in activities that challenge and engage us. This could include rock-climbing, dancing, painting or playing chess.
As gratifications have a longer lasting impact on our happiness, hedonic arbitrage dictates channelling more money to these things and less to the momentary pleasures. The good news, gratifications also tend to be cheaper! For more information on gratifications, check-out our earlier post finding flow
take the eating out test
Happy, fulfilled people know what experiences they value and invest their time and money on those things. Here is a short activity to help you get in touch with what experiences you value and why.
First ask yourself which experience you would prefer and why:
- Dining out at an expensive restaurant
- A cheap and cheerful night out with a group of colleagues
- Cooking at home with a handful of friends
Now try each of these experiences and take note of which you most enjoyed and why. Did your expectations match the outcome? Did your preferences have more to do with dollar outlay, ambience or the people involved?
the $50 test
Similar to the eating out test, this involves you getting in touch with the experiences and things you value most. Over the next few weeks plan three activities spending less than $50 each. This could include a anything from dinner with your partner, taking children to the movies, buying art supplies, doing a cooking class or planting a small vegetable garden. For each activity rate how happy you think it will make you, how happy it makes you immediately after and how happy it makes you a month later. What did you discover? Did your expectations match the outcome? Which activity gave you the most happiness over the long-term?
keep a happiness diary
This is similar to a keeping an expense diary but with an extra column for how happy each item makes you. Over the next week or two record everything you buy and do, how much it costs and how happy it makes you both immediately after and a month later. Now look at what you’re spending most of your money on. Does it match up with what makes you most happy? If not, why not?
Finding out what makes you happy takes time and effort, but in a world of prioritisation what could be more important?
For more information on hedonic arbitrage, or to order Abey and Ford’s book, check-out http://www.howmuchisenough.net/
[tweetmeme only_single=false http://www.URL.com%5DWe all know happy, healthy people make better employees. So it’s no surprise more and more employers are introducing wellness programs into the workplace. And these days they come in all different shapes and sizes.
Take Jane Ribinska’s Yoga Concepts for example – an online yoga studio offering a range of corporate wellness solutions including workplace yoga, pilates and meditation.
During her 25 years in Human Resources, Jane’s colleagues were constantly asking her how she remained calm under pressure. With Yoga Concepts she strives to share her secret with others.
“I started Yoga Concepts as part of a vision to make a positive difference, and share with others the wisdom and knowledge I had learnt over time that changed my life on a physical, psychological and emotional level,” explains Jane.
“When these areas are balanced it improves life quality on a personal and career level.”
As well as on and offsite yoga and pilates programs, Yoga Concepts offers customised corporate solutions including healthy cooking, calmness, nutrition, healthy back awareness and healthy heart sessions, along with personal development and cultural change workshops. Their online yoga studio offers videos and personal development audios that can be streamed by staff from their website 24-hours a day.
“This wellness toolkit is perfect for staff who travel a lot for business or are very busy and can’t make regular classes as they are still able to sustain their wellbeing needs at a time that suits them personally.”
According to Jane, these programs reduce stress and increase productivity and staff retention.
“Organisations have commented about improved productivity, staff moral and retention, and have noticed staff becoming more flexible and positive about moving forward with change,” she says.
Robert Glasson-Wilesmith Program Manager at Brisbane Martial Arts Centre, BTC, agrees. “A fit and healthy lifestyle brings productivity up and sick leave down,” he says.
BTC offers corporate martial arts, team building and parenting programs, as well as motivational courses. “The team building skills employees learn in class, they take back into the workplace,” he says.
“Sometimes we fall in a rut at work and every day is Groundhog Day. We cater to people of all shapes and sizes to reduce stress in a fun and stimulating environment.”
On the other end of the spectrum, corporate dance classes are also taking off, with companies like Latin Dance Australia, offering team-building salsa classes.
“The general aim is to get employees to step out of their comfort zone in front of each other, interact in one-on-one dancing, and have fun, ” says LDA Director Nestor Manuelian.
“We also get everyone to dance with everyone so it puts everyone from the highest level to lowest level in the same playing field.”
Nestor believes this helps build stronger employees relationships, lifts company moral and ultimately increases productivity.
“This experience is fun-filled and high energy, and will definitely leave your staff an a great high.”
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